Bonobo Potluck: Sacramento

Date & Time: Tuesday, October 20th 6pm-9pm
Location: Sacramento, CA
Full address will be provided to registered attendees.

Bonobo Potlucks are a cozy, casual way for Bonobos to gather, share a meal, and build deeper connections with one another.

Members of the Bonobo community are opening their homes and spaces to host potlucks in different parts of the Bay. Our hope is to make these gatherings more accessible to folks throughout the region while creating smaller, community-centered opportunities to connect.

Attendance is limited, and you must RSVP in advance to attend this potluck. Please do not bring unregistered guests without approval, as we may not be able to accommodate additional people once the event reaches capacity.

Schedule:

• 6:00 PM Doors open

• 7:30 PM Group Discussion

• 8:30 PM Return to freeform socializing

• 9:00 PM Party’s over! Strike begins.

Topic of Discussion: Cultivating Friendship with Play Partners

How do we build genuine friendship and emotional connection with the people we share intimate and playful experiences with?

Join us for an open, thoughtful group conversation about cultivating friendship with play partners—beyond chemistry, attraction, and shared experiences. We’ll explore what it means to nurture trust, communicate openly, create meaningful connection, and build relationships that feel supportive and reciprocal. Meet other local Bonobos and experience the safety of a Bonobo container to make new friends and talk openly about what this topic means for each of us.

This is a members only event and invited guests. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Potluck: Oakland

Date & Time: Sunday, October 18th 5pm-9pm
Location: Oakland City, CA
Full address will be provided to registered attendees.

Bonobo Potlucks are a cozy, casual way for Bonobos to gather, share a meal, and build deeper connections with one another.

Members of the Bonobo community are opening their homes and spaces to host potlucks in different parts of the Bay. Our hope is to make these gatherings more accessible to folks throughout the region while creating smaller, community-centered opportunities to connect.

Attendance is limited, and you must RSVP in advance to attend this potluck. Please do not bring unregistered guests without approval, as we may not be able to accommodate additional people once the event reaches capacity.

Schedule:

• 5-6pm - Arrival, mingling, eating

• 6-7pm - Large group discussion, eating

• 7-8pm - Small group discussions

  • 7-7:30pm - Intro and 1st small group

  • 7:30-8pm - Transition and 2nd small group

• 8-9pm - Socialize, eat, pack up

Topic of Discussion: Structure & Autonomy

Discussion topics:

• Large group: What's a norm in mono relationship culture you've kept in your ENM relationships, and one you've dropped?

• Small group 1: Hierarchy, useful structure or something you're actively trying to get away from?

• Small group 2: How much should a partner's other partner have a say in your relationship?

This is a members only event and invited guests. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobooks Discussion: “Radical Relating” by Mel Cassidy

Thursdays 9/10-10/29/2026
7:30pm-9:00pm for 8 sessions

Our next book is Radical Relating by Mel Cassidy, 2025.

Please note: This is a member only event.

Get the book:

• Audiobook available on 

  • Spotify

• E-Book available on

  • Amazon

  • GoodReads

Description of Book:

An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.

In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:

• Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity

• Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit

• Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement

• Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated

• Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape

• Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital

Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.

Schedule for meetings:

• Thu 9/10 Introduction, Chapter 1 Unravelling Monogamy, and Chapter 2 Exploring Non-Monogamy (p 1-28)

• Thu 9/17 Chapter 3 Post-Monogamy and Chapter 4 Becoming Trauma-Informed (p 29-54)

• Thu 9/24 Chapter 5 Why Somatics, Chapter 6 Pillars of Trauma-Informed Relating, and Part 1 Summary (p 55-78)

• Thu 10/1 Chapter 7 Queerness and Anarchy, Chapter 8 Relationship Landscape, Chapter 9 Layers of Relating, and Chapter 10 Emotional Quadrant (p 79-122)

• Thu 10/8 Chapter 11 Social Quadrant, Chapter 12 Practical Quadrant, Chapter 13 Erotic Quadrant, and Part 2 Summary (p 123-166)

• Thu 10/15 Chapter 14 Embrace the Mess, Chapter 15 Self-Relationship, Chapter 16 Meta-Model of Relating, Chapter 17 Consent and Agreements (p 167-210)

• Thu 10/22 Chapter 18 Shame, Shadow, and Cultivating Compersion; Chapter 19 Courageous Communication and Conflict Intimacy, and Part 3 Summary (p 211-248)

• Thu 10/29 Chapter 20 Changing Landscapes, Chapter 21 Radical Relating, and Takeaways (p 249-268)

This is a members only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobooks Discussion: “Radical Relating” by Mel Cassidy

Thursdays 9/10-10/29/2026
7:30pm-9:00pm for 8 sessions

Our next book is Radical Relating by Mel Cassidy, 2025.

Please note: This is a member only event.

Get the book:

• Audiobook available on 

  • Spotify

• E-Book available on

  • Amazon

  • GoodReads

Description of Book:

An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.

In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:

• Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity

• Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit

• Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement

• Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated

• Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape

• Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital

Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.

Schedule for meetings:

• Thu 9/10 Introduction, Chapter 1 Unravelling Monogamy, and Chapter 2 Exploring Non-Monogamy (p 1-28)

• Thu 9/17 Chapter 3 Post-Monogamy and Chapter 4 Becoming Trauma-Informed (p 29-54)

• Thu 9/24 Chapter 5 Why Somatics, Chapter 6 Pillars of Trauma-Informed Relating, and Part 1 Summary (p 55-78)

• Thu 10/1 Chapter 7 Queerness and Anarchy, Chapter 8 Relationship Landscape, Chapter 9 Layers of Relating, and Chapter 10 Emotional Quadrant (p 79-122)

• Thu 10/8 Chapter 11 Social Quadrant, Chapter 12 Practical Quadrant, Chapter 13 Erotic Quadrant, and Part 2 Summary (p 123-166)

• Thu 10/15 Chapter 14 Embrace the Mess, Chapter 15 Self-Relationship, Chapter 16 Meta-Model of Relating, Chapter 17 Consent and Agreements (p 167-210)

• Thu 10/22 Chapter 18 Shame, Shadow, and Cultivating Compersion; Chapter 19 Courageous Communication and Conflict Intimacy, and Part 3 Summary (p 211-248)

• Thu 10/29 Chapter 20 Changing Landscapes, Chapter 21 Radical Relating, and Takeaways (p 249-268)

This is a members only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobooks Discussion: “Radical Relating” by Mel Cassidy

Thursdays 9/10-10/29/2026
7:30pm-9:00pm for 8 sessions

Our next book is Radical Relating by Mel Cassidy, 2025.

Please note: This is a member only event.

Get the book:

• Audiobook available on 

  • Spotify

• E-Book available on

  • Amazon

  • GoodReads

Description of Book:

An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.

In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:

• Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity

• Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit

• Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement

• Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated

• Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape

• Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital

Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.

Schedule for meetings:

• Thu 9/10 Introduction, Chapter 1 Unravelling Monogamy, and Chapter 2 Exploring Non-Monogamy (p 1-28)

• Thu 9/17 Chapter 3 Post-Monogamy and Chapter 4 Becoming Trauma-Informed (p 29-54)

• Thu 9/24 Chapter 5 Why Somatics, Chapter 6 Pillars of Trauma-Informed Relating, and Part 1 Summary (p 55-78)

• Thu 10/1 Chapter 7 Queerness and Anarchy, Chapter 8 Relationship Landscape, Chapter 9 Layers of Relating, and Chapter 10 Emotional Quadrant (p 79-122)

• Thu 10/8 Chapter 11 Social Quadrant, Chapter 12 Practical Quadrant, Chapter 13 Erotic Quadrant, and Part 2 Summary (p 123-166)

• Thu 10/15 Chapter 14 Embrace the Mess, Chapter 15 Self-Relationship, Chapter 16 Meta-Model of Relating, Chapter 17 Consent and Agreements (p 167-210)

• Thu 10/22 Chapter 18 Shame, Shadow, and Cultivating Compersion; Chapter 19 Courageous Communication and Conflict Intimacy, and Part 3 Summary (p 211-248)

• Thu 10/29 Chapter 20 Changing Landscapes, Chapter 21 Radical Relating, and Takeaways (p 249-268)

This is a members only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Potluck: San Leandro

Date & Time: Wednesday, September 30th 6pm-10pm
Location: Redwood City, CA
Full address will be provided to registered attendees.

Bonobo Potlucks are a cozy, casual way for Bonobos to gather, share a meal, and build deeper connections with one another.

Members of the Bonobo community are opening their homes and spaces to host potlucks in different parts of the Bay. Our hope is to make these gatherings more accessible to folks throughout the region while creating smaller, community-centered opportunities to connect.

Attendance is limited, and you must RSVP in advance to attend this potluck. Please do not bring unregistered guests without approval, as we may not be able to accommodate additional people once the event reaches capacity.

Schedule:

6:00 PM Doors open
7:30 PM Group Discussion
8:30 PM Return to freeform socializing
10:00 PM Party’s over! Strike begins.

Topic of Discussion: Metamour Relationships

What kind of relationship do you want with your metamours?

Some people love building close friendships or chosen family with their partners’ partners. Others prefer to be friendly acquaintances, keep relationships mostly separate, or have little interaction at all. There’s no one “right” way to do it!

We’ll talk about the different ways metamour relationships can look, what helps them thrive, navigating boundaries and expectations, and what happens when the relationship you want with a metamour isn’t the relationship they want with you.

Come ready to share your experiences, perspectives, questions, and maybe learn something from how others navigate the wonderful (and sometimes complicated!) world of metamours.

This is a members only event and invited guests. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Network Presents: Afternoon Delight - Folsom Street Warm-Up

Saturday, September 26, 2026
12pm - 8PM
Private Oakland Residence - address released to ticket holders

SAVE THE DATE TICKET ON SALE MONDAY AUGUST 24TH at 7PM

Before getting down to clown at Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, get warmed up for the day's activities with your friends and lovers in Bonobo Network!

Are you ready for a day of poolside fun? For dancing to amazing DJs? For deep conversation and sexy connection? Tickets for our pool parties tend to move quickly, so get yours today!

It's the eve of Folsom Street Fair, a celebration of the queer leather community's incredible cultural contributions to San Francisco and beyond.

This is a member’s only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobooks Discussion: “Radical Relating” by Mel Cassidy

Thursdays 9/10-10/29/2026
7:30pm-9:00pm for 8 sessions

Our next book is Radical Relating by Mel Cassidy, 2025.

Please note: This is a member only event.

Get the book:

• Audiobook available on 

  • Spotify

• E-Book available on

  • Amazon

  • GoodReads

Description of Book:

An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.

In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:

• Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity

• Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit

• Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement

• Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated

• Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape

• Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital

Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.

Schedule for meetings:

• Thu 9/10 Introduction, Chapter 1 Unravelling Monogamy, and Chapter 2 Exploring Non-Monogamy (p 1-28)

• Thu 9/17 Chapter 3 Post-Monogamy and Chapter 4 Becoming Trauma-Informed (p 29-54)

• Thu 9/24 Chapter 5 Why Somatics, Chapter 6 Pillars of Trauma-Informed Relating, and Part 1 Summary (p 55-78)

• Thu 10/1 Chapter 7 Queerness and Anarchy, Chapter 8 Relationship Landscape, Chapter 9 Layers of Relating, and Chapter 10 Emotional Quadrant (p 79-122)

• Thu 10/8 Chapter 11 Social Quadrant, Chapter 12 Practical Quadrant, Chapter 13 Erotic Quadrant, and Part 2 Summary (p 123-166)

• Thu 10/15 Chapter 14 Embrace the Mess, Chapter 15 Self-Relationship, Chapter 16 Meta-Model of Relating, Chapter 17 Consent and Agreements (p 167-210)

• Thu 10/22 Chapter 18 Shame, Shadow, and Cultivating Compersion; Chapter 19 Courageous Communication and Conflict Intimacy, and Part 3 Summary (p 211-248)

• Thu 10/29 Chapter 20 Changing Landscapes, Chapter 21 Radical Relating, and Takeaways (p 249-268)

This is a members only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

The Bonobo Meetup 

Tuesday September 22, 2026 7pm-10pm

Hey Bonobos and Friends!

The Bonobo Meetup is a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on in a fun, low-pressure environment. This event is open to Bonobos and Bonobo-curious folks alike. Whether you're looking to make connections before our next big event, you're a longtime member, brand new to the community, or simply curious about what we're all about, we'd love to have you join us.

You're welcome to bring friends, partners, and lovers who may be interested in learning more about our community. Come hang out, share some laughs, build connections, and enjoy good company outside the dungeon and play spaces.

First time joining us? Want to know what Bonobo Network is? Come on out, take a name tag, write out your pronouns, order some food and drinks and get to know the community even better. Feeling shy? Grab one of the hosts and we'll help you feel welcomed.

Location

We will be meeting at Double Standard. 

Double Standard: We use high quality ingredients, including fresh juices and garnishes for our cocktails, and have 10 rotating beers and a concise selection of wines (21+). We welcome you to order food from our various neighbors and bring your food in with you. 

https://www.doublestandardbar.com/

Double Standard
2424 Telegraph Ave, 
Oakland, CA 94612

Can't wait to see all your lovely faces!

Invite your friends!

Bonobo Meetup is open to non-Bonobos. Please remember, though, that we're looking for people who'll be GREAT fits with our culture: we are looking for excellent people with sex-positive values who are committed to treating one another excellently: kindly, empathetically, consensually, inclusively, pleasurably, and supportively! They want to do sexy parties in community instead of in anonymity. They see the appeal in treating play parties as high possibility, low expectation spaces. They value consent. They're trustworthy. They are both supportive and supportable. Do you know these people? Because they're whom we want to see in our community.

Interested in joining our community? Join here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Connect on Plura: https://plra.io/m/bonobo-meetup-092226

Bonobooks Discussion: “Radical Relating” by Mel Cassidy

Thursdays 9/10-10/29/2026
7:30pm-9:00pm for 8 sessions

Our next book is Radical Relating by Mel Cassidy, 2025.

Please note: This is a member only event.

Get the book:

• Audiobook available on 

  • Spotify

• E-Book available on

  • Amazon

  • GoodReads

Description of Book:

An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.

In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:

• Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity

• Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit

• Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement

• Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated

• Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape

• Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital

Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.

Schedule for meetings:

• Thu 9/10 Introduction, Chapter 1 Unravelling Monogamy, and Chapter 2 Exploring Non-Monogamy (p 1-28)

• Thu 9/17 Chapter 3 Post-Monogamy and Chapter 4 Becoming Trauma-Informed (p 29-54)

• Thu 9/24 Chapter 5 Why Somatics, Chapter 6 Pillars of Trauma-Informed Relating, and Part 1 Summary (p 55-78)

• Thu 10/1 Chapter 7 Queerness and Anarchy, Chapter 8 Relationship Landscape, Chapter 9 Layers of Relating, and Chapter 10 Emotional Quadrant (p 79-122)

• Thu 10/8 Chapter 11 Social Quadrant, Chapter 12 Practical Quadrant, Chapter 13 Erotic Quadrant, and Part 2 Summary (p 123-166)

• Thu 10/15 Chapter 14 Embrace the Mess, Chapter 15 Self-Relationship, Chapter 16 Meta-Model of Relating, Chapter 17 Consent and Agreements (p 167-210)

• Thu 10/22 Chapter 18 Shame, Shadow, and Cultivating Compersion; Chapter 19 Courageous Communication and Conflict Intimacy, and Part 3 Summary (p 211-248)

• Thu 10/29 Chapter 20 Changing Landscapes, Chapter 21 Radical Relating, and Takeaways (p 249-268)

This is a members only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Potluck: Redwood City

Date & Time: Wednesday, September 16th 6pm-10pm
Location: Redwood City, CA
Full address will be provided to registered attendees.

Bonobo Potlucks are a cozy, casual way for Bonobos to gather, share a meal, and build deeper connections with one another.

Members of the Bonobo community are opening their homes and spaces to host potlucks in different parts of the Bay. Our hope is to make these gatherings more accessible to folks throughout the region while creating smaller, community-centered opportunities to connect.

Attendance is limited, and you must RSVP in advance to attend this potluck. Please do not bring unregistered guests without approval, as we may not be able to accommodate additional people once the event reaches capacity.

Schedule:

6:00 PM Doors open
7:30 PM Group Discussion
8:30 PM Return to freeform socializing
10:00 PM Party’s over! Strike begins.

Topic of Discussion: Topic of Discussion: Building Community on the Peninsula

How do we build and expand a sex-positive community on the Peninsula and in the South Bay?

We have quite a few Bonobo members and adjacent folks in this area, yet there are relatively few sex-positive events close to home. Let’s talk about ideas for private and public events, from breakfasts to picnics to hot tub evenings to small play parties, that could be organized to foster community.

Come ready to share your experiences, perspectives, and ideas, and maybe leave inspired to host your own events in our area.

This is a members only event and invited guests. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Picnic

Sunday, September 13th, 2026
1PM - 4PM
Oakland, CA 94609

Join us for a relaxed Bonobo Picnic open to members and their personal guests only!

This is a low-stakes, zero-pressure social gathering where we can spend time together, make new connections, deepen existing ones, and enjoy community outside of a play environment. Whether you’re brand new or have been around for years, this is a lovely chance to get to know one another in a casual daytime setting.

Since it’s lunchtime, we encourage folks to bring a dish, snack, or drinks to share if they’d like! Contributions are absolutely welcome, especially if you have vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, or other dietary-friendly options to add to the spread.

This is a members only event with personal guests only. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Network Presents: Heroes

Saturday September 12, 2026
12pm - 8PM
Private Oakland Residence - address released to ticket holders

Calling all heroes! A particularly sexy set of supervillains is threatening to dump an experimental chemical called Hornitrol into the reservoirs supplying water to the Bay Area. If they succeed, every human and animal that drinks the water will become feral, horny little freaks!

While we superheroes love a horny little freak, we also stand for consent, care, and human agency! And that's why we must band together to stop the supervillains from going through with their nefarious plan!

The battle between superheroes and supervillains is going down at the Mountain Blvd Reservoir in Oakland! Which side will YOU be on?

This is a member’s only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobooks Discussion: “Radical Relating” by Mel Cassidy

Thursdays 9/10-10/29/2026
7:30pm-9:00pm for 8 sessions

Our next book is Radical Relating by Mel Cassidy, 2025.

Please note: This is a member only event.

Get the book:

• Audiobook available on 

  • Spotify

• E-Book available on

  • Amazon

  • GoodReads

Description of Book:

An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.

In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:

• Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity

• Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit

• Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement

• Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated

• Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape

• Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital

Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.

Schedule for meetings:

• Thu 9/10 Introduction, Chapter 1 Unravelling Monogamy, and Chapter 2 Exploring Non-Monogamy (p 1-28)

• Thu 9/17 Chapter 3 Post-Monogamy and Chapter 4 Becoming Trauma-Informed (p 29-54)

• Thu 9/24 Chapter 5 Why Somatics, Chapter 6 Pillars of Trauma-Informed Relating, and Part 1 Summary (p 55-78)

• Thu 10/1 Chapter 7 Queerness and Anarchy, Chapter 8 Relationship Landscape, Chapter 9 Layers of Relating, and Chapter 10 Emotional Quadrant (p 79-122)

• Thu 10/8 Chapter 11 Social Quadrant, Chapter 12 Practical Quadrant, Chapter 13 Erotic Quadrant, and Part 2 Summary (p 123-166)

• Thu 10/15 Chapter 14 Embrace the Mess, Chapter 15 Self-Relationship, Chapter 16 Meta-Model of Relating, Chapter 17 Consent and Agreements (p 167-210)

• Thu 10/22 Chapter 18 Shame, Shadow, and Cultivating Compersion; Chapter 19 Courageous Communication and Conflict Intimacy, and Part 3 Summary (p 211-248)

• Thu 10/29 Chapter 20 Changing Landscapes, Chapter 21 Radical Relating, and Takeaways (p 249-268)

This is a members only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobooks Discussion Media-Break:

“Love in a F*cked Up World" by Dean Spade”

Thursday September 3rd only
7:30pm-9:00pm

A discussion with the Author of "Love in a F*cked Up World" Dean Spade about his book.

Modern Anarchy
Episode 267: Love in a F**ked up World - Dean Spade

Listen to Episode Here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6E84JfhMB8N51EU3xWYkSf?si=mPFHGANkQB6pxIPH_z065w&utm_source=copy-link&nd=1&dlsi=2b40d41efeda4003

On today’s episode, we have Dean (he/him) join us for a conversation about radical community building. Together we talk about dismantling the romance myth, NRE safety planning, and curiosity over campaigning.

About the Book

Lifelong activist and educator Dean Spade dares us to decide that our interpersonal actions are not separate from our politics of liberation and resistance. Many activist projects and resistance groups fall apart because people treat each other poorly, trying desperately to live out the cultural myths about dating and relationships that we are fed from an early age.

How do we divest from the idea that one romantic partner will be the solution to all our problems? How do we bring our best thinking about freedom and justice into step with our desires for healing and connection?

Love in a F*cked-Up World is a resounding call to action and a practical manifesto for how to combat cultural scripts and take our relationships into our own hands, preparing us for the work of changing the world.

This is a members only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Network presents: Queergasm Unholy Sunday

Sunday, August 16, 2026
12PM - 8PM
Private Oakland Residence - address released to ticket holders

GET TICKETS HERE THURSDAY JULY 16 at 7PM!
https://wannaketchup.com/t/e1DH4FB7kgKxr

"And lead us not into temptation — we know the way."

Join us for an afternoon of sacred mischief, radical consent, and unapologetic pleasure… a poolside temple built for the queer, the curious, and the gloriously unholy.

We are finalizing the details, but expect that our sacraments will include a consent workshop (learn your yes and nos), the laying on of hands (sensual massage), and communion at the dessert bar. We'll have DJs spinning up sinfully delicious beats that you won't be expected to resist.

IMPORTANT: Your Ketchup confirmation email will include the details you need to attend this event. Check your SMS and email confirmation message. To log in and view your ticket confirmation, click here. Please read this email in full and instruct any guests for whom you may have purchased tickets to do the same!

>>> WHAT IS QUEERGASM?

Queergasm is our ongoing party for queer folks. It's only open to queer people. That's because we want to create a space where queerness is not just welcomed or tolerated, but centered and celebrated. For our purposes, if you identify as queer, this party is for you. No one will be checking your queer card. You are queer enough. If you are questioning or exploring if you might be queer or fall somewhere under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are welcome to attend Queergasm as you explore if you might identify as queer. This party is for people with all levels of experience, from the merely curious or questioning to the most experienced swingers; from the decidedly monogamous to the most committed polyamorists. Under the umbrella of queerness, we welcome people representing every sexual preference, gender expression, and body type. None of us are getting free until we all get free.

Chris Logan (he/him) is a relationship coach, community organizer and lifelong overthinker who has spent most of his life helping people feel less alone in life's circumstances. He's queer, spiritually restless, and thriving on his way to living his best life. You can find out more at livingtender.coach/

Andrea (she/they) is a Colombiana who’s been in the bay for nearly 15 years now. A lot of her community organizing has centered on restorative justice, community empowerment and building intentional communities- including multiple cooperatives. They’re particularly excited to build spaces that are community led and foster intersectionality.

>>> AGENDA

Doors open

12:00 PM - 1:30 PM

[NOTE: No entry after opening circle without permission from hosts. Email info@bonobonetwork.com if you think you may need to join late.]

Playshop: Becoming the Chemistry by Liliana Urbain

12:15 PM - 1:15 PM

Opening Circle

1:30 PM - 2:00 PM
[NOTE: No entry after opening circle without permission from hosts. Email info@bonobonetwork.com if you think you may need to join late.]

Communion at the Dessert Bar

2:30PM - 3:30PM

[This activity starts immediately after the Opening Circle. If Opening Circle runs late, this activity will begin later as well. Thanks for your flexibility.]

DJ - Nickie Sol

2:00PM - 4:00PM

DJ - DEL

4:00PM - 6:00PM

Playlist

6:00PM - 7:00PM

Closing Circle

7:30PM - 8:00PM
Closing Circle is a time for us to share our experience, ecstatic or hard, to be seen, known, and normalize that these events are a full spectrum experience for everyone.

>>> PLAYSHOP: Becoming the Chemistry by Liliana Urbain

The hottest connections don’t start across the room — they start in your own body. Together, we’ll wake up sensation, flirt with our desires, and discover the energy we’re bringing into the space before expanding into playful partner and small-group explorations. Less performing, more feeling. Less chasing chemistry, more becoming it.

Liliana Urbain

https://www.lilianaurbain.com/

Liliana Urbain is an excitable band nerd gone cross-country, van-dwelling, full-time Musican, gone professional trivia and event host. You can catch her singing lead and drumming for her swanky rock group Thrown-Out Bones, producing and MC-ing one of her bizarre Uhaul or Carnival parties, leading quirky and playful workshops at her Wet queer gatherings, or socializing with pretty much anything that moves.

>>> ACTIVITIES

✨ Sanctuary Lounge:

Need a peaceful place to rest your soul?The Sanctuary Lounge is a quiet haven for reflection, connection, and comfort. Sink into plush beds surrounded by soft blankets, cozy pillows, and a touch of heavenly sparkle while you take a break from the festivities.This is a sacred non-play space, please save all sexual activity for the designated play areas. Whether you're sharing aftercare, having a heartfelt conversation, making a new friend, or simply taking a moment to recharge, the Sanctuary Lounge offers a peaceful retreat from the excitement.Take a moment to breathe, rest, and restore. Even the most devoted disciples deserve a little sanctuary. ✨

🤲 The Laying on of Hands (8-Hand Massage)

Experience the blessing of many hands as fellow attendees come together to create a relaxing, collaborative consent-focused massage experience. A chance to share care, connection, and a little divine relaxation. Everyone will negotiate boundaries beforehand, and participation is always optional—you choose how you wish to engage.

🍰 Communion at the Dessert Bar

Gather with your fellow congregants for the sweetest sacrament of the day. Break bread... or cheesecake, cookies, brownies, and other heavenly delights. Whether you're indulging in a favorite treat or discovering a new temptation, all are welcome at the Dessert Bar.

💋 Confession Booth (Kissing Booth)

Confess your desires... and receive your penance with a kiss. Step into the Confession Booth, share a playful confession, and, with enthusiastic consent, exchange a kiss with a willing participant. Whether it's a peck on the cheek, a kiss on the lips, or simply a blessing from afar, every confession is honored and every "no" is sacred.

>>> MUSIC 

We’re curating the perfect soundtrack for the night—expect a lineup that will keep your body moving, your energy high, and the vibes just right.

Stay tuned for the full lineup—trust us, you’ll want to be on the dance floor for this one. 🎶🔥

Nickie Sol
https://soundcloud.com/nickiesol

Nickie Sol crafts immersive DJ journeys through a signature sound he calls Tribal Soul House, an evocative fusion of Afro, Deep, and Organic House spiced with Amapiano, AfroBeat,  and enriched with live flute and percussion. His sets are heart-opening and transportive, inviting dancers into a space where music becomes a vehicle for liberation and movement becomes a sacred form of expression.

Based in San Francisco, he is a poet, facilitator, and sound healer devoted to creating spaces for deep connection, embodiment, and transformation. As a founding member of Urban Mystic Movement & Sound and The Brothership, he offers sound bath experiences and men’s work gatherings rooted in presence and authenticity. He is also the co-owner of Ecstatic Dance Oakland, a biweekly sober dance held at the historic Sweets Ballroom in downtown Oakland.

DJ DEL 

linktr.ee/inebriatedfelon 
Your Bay Area DJ Grandma
Host of Genderfuck at Steamworks
& The Wet Room on Lowergrandradio.com

DJ DEL is a longtime fixture in the Bay Area's queer nightlife, known for creating unforgettable dance floors where everyone is invited to let loose and be themselves. A regular behind the decks at events like Genderfuck, The Wet Room, and the Official Oaklash Afterparty, DEL seamlessly blends darkwave, industrial, EBM, synthpop, new wave, goth, electro, and dance-floor favorites into sets that are both nostalgic and fresh. With an instinct for reading the room and a passion for building community through music, DEL delivers high-energy sets that celebrate queer joy, self-expression, and connection. Whether you're there to dance until closing or simply soak in the atmosphere, DEL keeps the energy flowing from the first track to the last.

>>> CONNECT ON PLURA

Want to see who's going, match, chat, and meet the community? Check out the event on Plura Community 

>>> QUEERGASM MEETUP and BONOBO MEETUP

Join us at the Queergasm Meetup on 8/12 or the Bonobo Meetup on 8/4. Meetups are a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on and in a low-pressure environment. You're welcome to bring friends and lovers who've never been to a Bonobo event but who may be interested!

>>> VENUE ACCESSIBILITY

The entire outdoor area is accessible, with a ramp leading to the pool area at the back, ensuring easy entry for individuals with mobility aids. Additionally, there are accessible bathrooms and showers near the pool. However, the house itself is not accessible; the front entrance requires navigating four stairs, and the back entrance has two stairs, with no ramps or alternative accessible entry points. While the outdoor amenities cater to accessibility needs, guests requiring such accommodations should plan activities around the accessible outdoor facilities. For further assistance or specific accessibility inquiries, please contact us.

>>> VOLUNTEERING 

Volunteering is a great way to meet other Bonobos, and volunteer tickets have discounts baked into them as a thank you for your contribution. Available roles include:

Pre-Party

• Setup (Sunday 10am - Pre-party)

During Party

• Food Support (90 minutes at the beginning of the party)

• Greeting (60 minute shifts before and during party)

• Covid Testing Support ( 90 minute shifts before and during party)

• Angel Crew (60 minute shifts during party)

• Cleaning (60 minute shifts during party)

• Strike (90 minutes after the party)

>>> QUEERGASM IS NOW USING THE PAL SYSTEM!

We’re excited to announce that Queergasm is using the PAL system, which will allow more queer folks to get a taste of our community.

PAL stands for Pervy Activity Liaison (thanks to Polly Superstar of Kinky Salon and Mission Control for the term.) A PAL is a trusted friend (doesn’t have to be a date) who attends an event with you. PALs are responsible for each others’ behavior – if someone behaves in a way that negatively impacts the space, it reflects poorly on all of the PALs. And if we ask someone to leave an event for any reason, their PALs must exit as well. In this way, it not only ensures that people who are new to the community have a social anchor, it also ensures that everyone feels accountable to someone, which tends to encourage great behavior.

Who Needs a PAL for Queergasm?

• Active Bonobo members do NOT need a PAL. You’re welcome to attend solo if you would like.

• Non-members MUST have a PAL to attend – even if you were previously a member.

• Two non-members CAN be each other’s PALs as long as they know and trust each other.

PAL Guidelines:

• Arrive & leave with a trusted friend (not necessarily a date).

• Your PAL can be of any gender, a couple, or a group—as long as you all agree to be responsible for each other.

• You are responsible for your PAL’s behavior, and they are responsible for yours.

• You must know and trust your PAL—you cannot PAL with a stranger.

•  If either of you violate consent or event agreements, both of you will be held accountable.

PAL Frequently Asked Questions

>>> INVITING YOUR FRIENDS TO FUTURE BONOBO PARTIES

Want to invite a friend to a future Bonobo party? Great! They'll need to become a member for Bonobo Mainline Parties. Invite them to learn more about us and apply at https://bonobonetwork.com/apply

If you know someone really well, you can let us know that by endorsing their application. The standard for endorsement is high, as is the bar for membership. Your friends should FULLY understand Bonobo Network's culture, especially around consent.

Who we're looking for:

• They should be broadly familiar with their boundaries and be able to set boundaries with others.

• They should be able to resolve conflicts gracefully, generously, and empathetically.

• They're someone you trust to be accountable to you and to this community.

• Ideally, you trust them implicitly, and you would either play with them yourself or recommend that your friends play with them at the party.

• You would feel comfortable staking your reputation on their being a good fit for our community. (NOTE: This is different from feeling confident that they would enjoy themselves or get something out of the experience.)
  
  
  

>>> REGISTRATION & TICKETS

• Tickets for our standard members will be available in tiers starting at $75.

• Tickets will be available in tiers starting starting at $65 for PrimeMates, our premium members. [PRIMEMATE MEMBERS: You have a special code that you received when you became a member. Use that for your discount.]

IMPORTANT!

If you're purchasing more than one ticket, please make sure each individual attending is named!

>>> OUR TICKETING PRICING POLICY 

***NOTAFLOF Tickets - Action Required (see below)

As we continue to grow and create memorable experiences together, we want to share some important updates regarding the way we manage tickets for our events. Thank you for your feedback about access to tickets and creating ease around ticket transfers. We hope these changes provide a lot better user experience. We are also providing clearer guidelines about use of NOTOFLOF codes and a new request system for those who use those codes.

Supporting Our Community: No One Turned Away for Lack Of Funds (NOTAFLOF) Changes

NOTAFLOF Codes by Request Only

We will be changing the NOTAFLOF codes for each party. Please use this the form below before the event to request a NOTAFLOF discount code. You can then apply this code on the day of the ticket drop.

REQUEST A NOTAFLOF DISCOUNT CODE HERE

We are committed to inclusivity and accessibility. Our tiered ticket pricing remains in place to support those with financial hardship while allowing those with greater means to contribute more, pick the tier you need. This helps us uphold our No One Turned Away For Lack Of Funds (NOTAFLOF) policy. We would like to offer some examples of what code to use based on need.

25% Off: For those with moderate financial needs. Examples might include:

• Individuals supporting a dependent.

• Those with some medical expenses not covered by insurance.

• Individuals who have periodic financial difficulties but can generally manage their expenses.

50% Off: For those with significant financial constraints. Examples might include:

• Individuals with significant debt or loans.

• Those who receive public assistance or unemployment benefits.

• People with substantial immigration-related expenses.

• Single parents or guardians with no additional financial support.

• Those with limited income or support.

• Individuals with large, ongoing medical expenses or disabilities.

• Unpaid community organizers with no disposable income.

Ticket transfers: You can transfer your own tickets now!  View your ticket in Ketchup. Click the menu button (three dots) and click transfer ticket. Copy link and send it to the person you are transferring your ticket too. If you have any issues please email info@bonobonetwork.com with the new ticket holder first and last name, email address and phone number.

Refund Policy:

We are still working on the details of our official refund policy, including the specifics of our Covid refund policy. Stay tuned for more updates soon.

Thank you for being a part of our community and for your understanding as we experiment and implement these changes.

>>> COVID POLICY

We no longer require proof of vaccination.

Your COVID testing options are:

• Present a timestamped photo of a covid rapid antigen test taken the day of the event at the door.

• Present the results of a PCR test administered within 48 hours of the party.

• Bring your own COVID test to take on site. If you use this option, please wear a mask into the venue. There will be a limited supply of rapid tests available for purchase - PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN.

If you need to take a covid test onsite, you must wear a mask.

>>> INCIDENT REPORTING

If your boundaries are crossed at the party, if a Bonobo member acts in ways that are not in accordance with our culture and values, or even if someone just kinda creeps you out, please report the incident to an angel or party host. We also encourage you to file an incident report online at http://bit.ly/bonoboincidentreport.

Incident reports aren't just for consent violations at Bonobo events. If people are behaving in the ways described above outside of parties, it can be helpful for organizers to know.

>>> BONOBO NETWORK PRINCIPLES

What began as a series of small parties in Summer 2010 has grown into a community that has served 3,000 people around the Bay Area and the world. Our community is united by the following principles, which inform how we orient towards the spaces we share and how we treat one another:

High Possibility, Low Expectation: 

Our communities are best when they're treated as high possibility, low expectation spaces. That means two things: first, that all kinds of awesome sexy interactions are possible, but that no one should be expected to interact with you in any particular way. No one owes you anything. Second, we often attend these events with an expectation of the type or quality of experience we should have. While anything is possible, you'll probably have a much better experience if you lose those expectations of yourself and open yourself up to the abundance of connection of all kinds available to you at the party. Low expectation DOES NOT mean "low desire" – we believe it's helpful to have a well-explored and articulated sense of what you want and to hold those desires lightly.

Trust and Integrity: 

Parties like ours are built on trust – that's what allows us to be as open and welcoming and vulnerable as we can be inside those spaces. But this requires that we all show up in full integrity, pledging to be our most trustworthy. Three important implications of this : keep the identities of folks at our events confidential, proactively disclose relevant safer sex risks, and take exquisite care of the venues, spaces, and neighborhood ecosystems that host us.

Consent: 

We agree that we will only physically engage with one another, including nonsexual touch, where there is CLEAR CONSENT. We define consent as an ongoing collaboration between two or more people in constant verbal, physical, and emotional dialogue about what each other needs to safely, willingly, and pleasurably interact with one another. Gold standard consent in Bonobo Network is affirmative, informed, unpressured, specific, competently given, and ongoing. Respecting and valuing consent isn't just about preventing violations that shred trust -- it's also about making sure that everyone has as much space as they need to fully occupy their yes. Please read our Consent and Accountability Policy (bit.ly/bonoboconsentpolicy) for more details on how we approach consent and accountability.

High Challenge, High Support: 

Play parties can be challenging and emotionally complex, even for seasoned veterans. We’re committed to making the play parties we throw high challenge, high support environments. We come together to celebrate and play at our edges. To fully support that endeavor, we provide a dedicated nonsexual space at each party for folks who need to get away from the intensity of the gathering. It means recruiting a team of angels who are available to provide counseling and social support throughout the party. And it means encouraging everyone who attends to commit to being an angel for everyone around them.

Here's a guide to have a pre-party conversation with your sweetie(s) to make your party go smoothly for both of you: bit.ly/beingpartyready

Everyone Contributes: 

Parties like this are never the work of a single organizer -- it takes the participation and contribution of a host of people. Everyone who attends is expected to co-create the party: money, time, energy, enthusiasm, work, intention, example, concern and/or awareness.

Inclusion: 

We are dedicated to fostering inclusion in our community. No matter your race, ethnicity, gender identity, or class background, we want everyone who participates in this community to understand that they belong here, and that they have as much of a stake in what happens here as anyone else does. While we recognize that everyone is on a learning curve when it comes to learning how to foster such an atmosphere, we also commit to a stance of learning -- and supporting one another's learning -- of how to be excellent to one another.

This is a dynamic list, ever growing, changing, and deepening as this grand experiment in connection continues. Thanks to you all for playing mad scientist with us.

Queergasm Meetup

Wednesday, August 12th, 2026 7pm-10pm

Join us for Queergasm’s social meetup! It is a fantastic way for our queer non-monogamous community to get to know each other with our clothes on and in a low-pressure environment.
 

What is Queergasm?

Queergasm is a play party produced by the Bonobo Network, by queers, for queers, and exclusively for queer people. Our mission is to create a space where queerness is not just welcomed or tolerated, but centered and celebrated.

About this Meetup

This meetup is for all queer folks: those who are planning on attending an upcoming Queergasm party, those who are curious and considering attending, and for newbies just to meet our community. 

First time? Want to know what Queergasm and Bonobo Network is? Come on out, take a name tag, write out your pronouns, bring some drinks or food to share, and get to know your community even better. Feeling shy? Don’t be afraid of these people, they are naughty in the nicest ways… Grab one of the hosts and we'll help you feel welcomed.

This event is only for queer people. For our purposes, if you identify as queer, this meetup is for you. No one will be checking your queer card. You are queer enough. If you are questioning or exploring if you might be queer or fall somewhere under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are welcome.

Location:

We will be meeting at Mad Oak Bar. A neighborhood bar in Oakland with lots of outdoor seating both roof top and ground floor. 

http://www.madoakbar.com/

Mad Oak Bar
135 12TH STREET, 
OAKLAND, CA, 94607

Can't wait to see all your lovely faces!

Invite a Friend!

Want to bring a non-Bonobo friend? Great! Meetup is open to non-Bonobos. Please remember, though, that we're looking for people who'll be GREAT fits with our culture: we are looking for excellent people with sex-positive values who are committed to treating one another excellently: kindly, empathetically, consensually, inclusively, pleasurably, and supportively! They want to do sexy parties in community instead of in anonymity. They see the appeal in treating play parties as high possibility, low expectation spaces. They value consent. They're trustworthy. They are both supportive and supportable. Do you know these people? Because they're whom we want to see at the event.

Connect on Plura

https://plra.io/m/queergasm-meetup-081226

Bonobo Network Presents: Weird Barbie's Beach Day Part 2

Saturday, August 8, 2026
12pm - 8PM
Private Oakland Residence - address released to ticket holders

GET TICKETS THURSDAY JULY 16 at 7PM! (for members only)

Weird Barbie is back for another beach adventure. She’s calling all the Barbies and Kens to join her - even Service Sub Allen is getting in on the fun!

Nurse Barbie? Check!
Thick thighs Barbie? Check!
Bondage hood Ken? Mmmmph!

Which Barbie, Ken, or even Allen are you? What attribute, occupation, kink, fetish, or desire wants to be represented? Even more fun, how many different ones can you represent over the course of the party? We’re taking playing dress-up to the next level - just like Weird Barbie would want for us!

This is a member’s only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

The Bonobo Meetup 

Tuesday August 4th, 2026 7pm-10pm

Hey Bonobos and Friends!

The Bonobo Meetup is a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on in a fun, low-pressure environment. This event is open to Bonobos and Bonobo-curious folks alike. Whether you're looking to make connections before our next big event, you're a longtime member, brand new to the community, or simply curious about what we're all about, we'd love to have you join us.

You're welcome to bring friends, partners, and lovers who may be interested in learning more about our community. Come hang out, share some laughs, build connections, and enjoy good company outside the dungeon and play spaces.

First time joining us? Want to know what Bonobo Network is? Come on out, take a name tag, write out your pronouns, order some food and drinks and get to know the community even better. Feeling shy? Grab one of the hosts and we'll help you feel welcomed.

Location

We will be meeting at District Oakland. Full bar with gourmet small plates served in a modern space.

https://districtoak.com/

District Oakland 
827 Washington St
Oakland, CA 94607

Can't wait to see all your lovely faces!

Invite your friends!

Bonobo Meetup is open to non-Bonobos. Please remember, though, that we're looking for people who'll be GREAT fits with our culture: we are looking for excellent people with sex-positive values who are committed to treating one another excellently: kindly, empathetically, consensually, inclusively, pleasurably, and supportively! They want to do sexy parties in community instead of in anonymity. They see the appeal in treating play parties as high possibility, low expectation spaces. They value consent. They're trustworthy. They are both supportive and supportable. Do you know these people? Because they're whom we want to see in our community.

Interested in joining our community? Join here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Connect on Plura: https://plra.io/m/bonobo-meetup-080426

Bonobo Picnic

Sunday, July 19, 2026
1PM - 4PM
Oakland - address released to members only

Join us for a relaxed Bonobo Picnic open to members and their personal guests only!

This is a low-stakes, zero-pressure social gathering where we can spend time together, make new connections, deepen existing ones, and enjoy community outside of a play environment. Whether you’re brand new or have been around for years, this is a lovely chance to get to know one another in a casual daytime setting.

Since it’s lunchtime, we encourage folks to bring a dish, snack, or drinks to share if they’d like! Contributions are absolutely welcome, especially if you have vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, or other dietary-friendly options to add to the spread.

You’re welcome to bring friends, partners, or lovers who have never attended a Bonobo event but may be interested in our community. Got kids? Feel free to bring them too — at the considerable risk of them overhearing tremendously adult conversations.

This is a member’s only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Bonobo Network presents: Afternoon Delight Everybody’s Birthday!

Saturday July 11, 2026
12pm - 8PM
Private Oakland Residence - address released to ticket holders

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! You look like a Bonobo and you fuck like one, too!

Sure, it’s Bonobo’s birthday. But you know how much we like to share. On July 11, we’re celebrating EVERYBODY’S birthday! We’re turning the day into one massive exercise in asking for what you want and wish fulfillment. Get vulnerable. Get weird. Get creative. Get a little freaky. From the Meet Market to Body Buffet <ahem> other poolside activities, we encourage attendees to ask for what they want from the mild to the wild!

And remember - it’s not just YOUR birthday party – it’s everyone’s birthday party! So in addition to thinking about all the presents you want to ask for, also come thinking about what gifts you’d like to give.That’s the Bonobo magic in a nutshell.

No party is complete without music, so expect awesome poolside tunes from Bodhi McBoatface, with more DJs to be announced. You can also expect an excellent opening workshop to get you warmed up for the day’s activities.

This is a member’s only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

The Bonobo Meetup 

Tuesday July 7, 2026 7pm-10pm

Hey Bonobos and Friends!

The Bonobo Meetup is a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on in a fun, low-pressure environment. This event is open to Bonobos and Bonobo-curious folks alike. Whether you're looking to make connections before our next big event, you're a longtime member, brand new to the community, or simply curious about what we're all about, we'd love to have you join us.

You're welcome to bring friends, partners, and lovers who may be interested in learning more about our community. Come hang out, share some laughs, build connections, and enjoy good company outside the dungeon and play spaces.

First time joining us? Want to know what Bonobo Network is? Come on out, take a name tag, write out your pronouns, order some food and drinks and get to know the community even better. Feeling shy? Grab one of the hosts and we'll help you feel welcomed.

Location

We will be meeting at District Oakland. Full bar with gourmet small plates served in a modern space.

https://districtoak.com/

District Oakland 
827 Washington St
Oakland, CA 94607

Can't wait to see all your lovely faces!

Invite your friends!

Bonobo Meetup is open to non-Bonobos. Please remember, though, that we're looking for people who'll be GREAT fits with our culture: we are looking for excellent people with sex-positive values who are committed to treating one another excellently: kindly, empathetically, consensually, inclusively, pleasurably, and supportively! They want to do sexy parties in community instead of in anonymity. They see the appeal in treating play parties as high possibility, low expectation spaces. They value consent. They're trustworthy. They are both supportive and supportable. Do you know these people? Because they're whom we want to see in our community.

Interested in joining our community? Join here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Connect on Plura: https://plra.io/m/bonobo-meetup-070726

Bonobo Network presents: Afternoon Delight Poolside PRIDE

Saturday, June 27, 2026
12pm - 8PM
Oakland, CA - address released to ticket holders

Afternoon Delights are BACK! ☀🍹👙

The days are long. The sun is high. The swimsuits are... optional. That can only mean one thing: Afternoon Delight is back!

If you’re new here, Afternoon Delight is Bonobo Network’s series of daytime summer pool parties. And the opener falls during Pride weekend, when we celebrate the impact of LGBTQ+ people and communities around the world.

We invite you to celebrate Pride with us in Bonobo’s signature high possibility, low expectation style! Dance around the pool with a DJ set by Del. Share smooches at our Queer Kissing Booth. Get to know one another more deeply by exploring your personal relationship to queerness in our Queer Stories Corner. Plus there’ll be an awesome workshop to get the party started at noon – so plan to arrive early and stay tuned for more information!

PLAYSHOP: QUEER PANIC: SAPPHIC & ACHILLEAN SESSION

At Poolside Pride, we're excited to bring back two of the most beloved playshops from Bonobofest: Queer Panic: Sapphic Session and Queer Panic: Achillean Session.

QUEER PANIC: SAPPHIC SESSION by Emily A & Kay Y

Are you someone who enjoys or is curious about erotic energy with women, femmes, and sapphic-identified folks?

Many of us grew up receiving messages that our desires, attractions, and connections with other women weren't meant to be explored or celebrated. Let's leave those stories behind and step into a space centered on curiosity, pleasure, connection, and community.

We'll take a gentle approach that creates room for all comfort levels. While a variety of play may emerge, we'll focus on a slow burn, external exploration, and building connection in ways that feel welcoming to both newcomers and experienced participants alike.

Whether you're brand new to sapphic spaces, questioning, curious, or have years of experience, you're welcome here.

This playshop is centered around sapphic connection, and we trust participants to self-select. If you feel aligned with the intention of this space and can engage respectfully within the container, we invite you to join us.

QUEER PANIC: ACHILLEAN SESSION by Chris S

Are you someone who enjoys or is curious about erotic energy with men and masculine-identified folks?

Many of us grew up receiving messages that attraction, intimacy, and connection between men should be hidden, feared, or left unexplored. Let's leave those stories behind and create space for curiosity, pleasure, connection, and community.

Through guided exercises inspired by the 3-Minute Game, we'll explore desire, communication, and connection through negotiated interaction and enthusiastic consent.

We'll move at the speed of our nervous systems. That may look like conversation, eye contact, touch, affection, makeouts, or deeper exploration. There is no right way to participate, and every level of engagement is valid.

Whether you're brand new to achillean spaces, questioning, curious, or have years of experience, you're welcome here.

This playshop is centered around achillean connection, and we trust participants to self-select. If you feel aligned with the intention of this space and can engage respectfully within the container, we invite you to join us.

This is a member’s only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

The Bonobo Meetup 

Tuesday June 23rd, 2026 7pm-10pm

Hey Bonobos and Friends!

The Bonobo Meetup is a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on in a fun, low-pressure environment. This event is open to Bonobos and Bonobo-curious folks alike. Whether you're looking to make connections before our next big event, you're a longtime member, brand new to the community, or simply curious about what we're all about, we'd love to have you join us.

You're welcome to bring friends, partners, and lovers who may be interested in learning more about our community. Come hang out, share some laughs, build connections, and enjoy good company outside the dungeon and play spaces.

First time joining us? Want to know what Bonobo Network is? Come on out, take a name tag, write out your pronouns, order some food and drinks and get to know the community even better. Feeling shy? Grab one of the hosts and we'll help you feel welcomed.

Location

We will be meeting at District Oakland. Full bar with gourmet small plates served in a modern space.

https://districtoak.com/

District Oakland 
827 Washington St
Oakland, CA 94607

Can't wait to see all your lovely faces!

Invite your friends!

Bonobo Meetup is open to non-Bonobos. Please remember, though, that we're looking for people who'll be GREAT fits with our culture: we are looking for excellent people with sex-positive values who are committed to treating one another excellently: kindly, empathetically, consensually, inclusively, pleasurably, and supportively! They want to do sexy parties in community instead of in anonymity. They see the appeal in treating play parties as high possibility, low expectation spaces. They value consent. They're trustworthy. They are both supportive and supportable. Do you know these people? Because they're whom we want to see in our community.

Interested in joining our community? Join here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Connect on Plura: https://plra.io/m/bonobo-meetup-062326

Bonobo Picnic

Sunday, June 7, 2026
1PM - 4PM
Oakland - address released to members only

Join us for a relaxed Bonobo Picnic open to members and their personal guests only!

This is a low-stakes, zero-pressure social gathering where we can spend time together, make new connections, deepen existing ones, and enjoy community outside of a play environment. Whether you’re brand new or have been around for years, this is a lovely chance to get to know one another in a casual daytime setting.

Since it’s lunchtime, we encourage folks to bring a dish, snack, or drinks to share if they’d like! Contributions are absolutely welcome, especially if you have vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, or other dietary-friendly options to add to the spread.

You’re welcome to bring friends, partners, or lovers who have never attended a Bonobo event but may be interested in our community. Got kids? Feel free to bring them too — at the considerable risk of them overhearing tremendously adult conversations.

This is a member’s only event. If you are interested in attending and learning more then join Bonobo Network here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Hey Bonobos and Friends! Let’s raise a glass before we get our groove on together!

Tuesday, April 28th, 2026 7pm-10pm

First time? Want to know what Bonobo Network is? Come on out, take a name tag, write out your pronouns, order some food and drinks and get to know your community even better. Feeling shy? Grab one of the hosts and we'll help you feel welcomed.

Foreplay is a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on and in a low-pressure environment. You're welcome to bring friends and lovers who've never been to a Bonobo event but who may be interested!

Please remember, though, that we're looking for people who'll be GREAT fits with our culture: we are looking for excellent people with sex-positive values who are committed to treating one another excellently: kindly, empathetically, consensually, inclusively, pleasurably, and supportively! They want to do sexy parties in community instead of in anonymity. They see the appeal in treating play parties as high possibility, low expectation spaces. They value consent. They're trustworthy. They are both supportive and supportable. Do you know these people? Because they're whom we want to see at the event.

What is Kiss and Tell?

Kiss and Tell is our new quarterly second bass party – a sexy, bottoms-on dance party driven by deep bass. This is an open to everyone event, and is another great chance to introduce curious friends to Bonobo Network.

Location

We will be meeting at District Oakland. Full bar with gourmet small plates served in a modern space.

https://districtoak.com/

District Oakland 
 827 Washington St, 
 Oakland, CA 94607

Can't wait to see all your lovely faces!

COVID safety: Please discuss your risk factors with each other as it pertains to covid. Physical contact and close proximity with explicit consent.

Connect on Plura
https://plra.io/m/foreplay-for-kiss-and-tell-042826

The Bonobo Meetup 

Tuesday April 14th, 2025 7pm-10pm

Hey Bonobos and Friends!

The Bonobo Meetup is a fantastic way to get to know each other with our clothes on and in a low-pressure environment. You're welcome to bring friends and lovers who've never been to a Bonobo event but who may be interested in learning more about our community.

First time joining us? Want to know what Bonobo Network is? Come on out, take a name tag, write out your pronouns, order some food and drinks and get to know the community even better. Feeling shy? Grab one of the hosts and we'll help you feel welcomed.

Location

We will be meeting at District Oakland. Full bar with gourmet small plates served in a modern space.

https://districtoak.com/

District Oakland 
827 Washington St
Oakland, CA 94607

Can't wait to see all your lovely faces!

Invite your friends!

Want to bring a non-Bonobo friend? Great! Meetup is open to non-Bonobos. Please remember, though, that we're looking for people who'll be GREAT fits with our culture: we are looking for excellent people with sex-positive values who are committed to treating one another excellently: kindly, empathetically, consensually, inclusively, pleasurably, and supportively! They want to do sexy parties in community instead of in anonymity. They see the appeal in treating play parties as high possibility, low expectation spaces. They value consent. They're trustworthy. They are both supportive and supportable. Do you know these people? Because they're whom we want to see at the event.

COVID safety: Please discuss your risk factors with each other as it pertains to covid. Physical contact and close proximity with explicit consent.

Interested in attending our upcoming parties? Join here: https://www.bonobonetwork.com/apply

Connect on Plura: https://plra.io/m/bonobo-meetup-031426