Bonobooks Discussion: “Radical Relating” by Mel Cassidy
Thursdays 9/10-10/29/2026
7:30pm-9:00pm for 8 sessions
Our next book is Radical Relating by Mel Cassidy, 2025.
Please note: This is a member only event.
Get the book:
Description of Book:
An empowering guide to imagining (and living) better relationships, Radical Relating pushes back on the monogamy mandate. Author, somatic educator, and relationship coach Mel Cassidy explodes the often-unquestioned mainstream myths about the nuclear family structure: those that tell us your soulmate must be your sole mate. That sex is the only yardstick of relational success. That self-sacrifice and self-denial are necessary trade-offs for security and partnership. That we need to ride the relationship escalator all the way up, or we’ll die alone.
In four sections, Cassidy explains the why, what, how, and where of the Radical Relating model. They:
Lay out clear-eyed analysis about why monogamy isn’t working and explain the harms of unquestioned internalized mono-normativity
Offer Reflective Journaling prompts, Somatic Pauses, and practical wisdom for assembling your Relational Toolkit
Explain the trauma-informed pillars of Radical Relating: Orientation, Resilience, Resolution, and Engagement
Help you reorient to a new map for relating that’s queer, anarchist, and somatically integrated
Help you build skills to understand and navigate your relationship landscape
Explore the intersections of monogamy, colonialism, patriarchy, and capitalism and illuminate how monogamous relationship structures emerged with one goal in mind: to consolidate capital
Most books on non-monogamy focus on top-level logistics and play into beliefs that can inadvertently replicate oppressive structures. Radical Relating is different: it speaks to readers who want not only to open up their relationships or expand their sexual experiences, but claim a new and liberating ways to relate to each other, fulfill our authentic needs, and build true communities of care beyond monogamy.
Schedule for meetings:
Thu 9/10 Introduction, Chapter 1 Unravelling Monogamy, and Chapter 2 Exploring Non-Monogamy (p 1-28)
Thu 9/17 Chapter 3 Post-Monogamy and Chapter 4 Becoming Trauma-Informed (p 29-54)
Thu 9/24 Chapter 5 Why Somatics, Chapter 6 Pillars of Trauma-Informed Relating, and Part 1 Summary (p 55-78)
Thu 10/1 Chapter 7 Queerness and Anarchy, Chapter 8 Relationship Landscape, Chapter 9 Layers of Relating, and Chapter 10 Emotional Quadrant (p 79-122)
Thu 10/8 Chapter 11 Social Quadrant, Chapter 12 Practical Quadrant, Chapter 13 Erotic Quadrant, and Part 2 Summary (p 123-166)
Thu 10/15 Chapter 14 Embrace the Mess, Chapter 15 Self-Relationship, Chapter 16 Meta-Model of Relating, Chapter 17 Consent and Agreements (p 167-210)
Thu 10/22 Chapter 18 Shame, Shadow, and Cultivating Compersion; Chapter 19 Courageous Communication and Conflict Intimacy, and Part 3 Summary (p 211-248)
Thu 10/29 Chapter 20 Changing Landscapes, Chapter 21 Radical Relating, and Takeaways (p 249-268)